Summer 1989

... continued from previous post.

E graduated from high school. I attended. I was supposed to return home to the central coast shortly after graduation. Well, my dad got p*ssed at me because he thought I had my mother's address and phone number and I that wouldn't give it to him. (I did but didn't think it was my place to give it to him nor was it fair for him to put me in the middle).
We had a fight over the telephone.
At the end, I asked him when he wanted me home, he said "I don't care, hopefully never!" and hung up on me. I didn't go home. Instead, I got a job. My first, real, non-horse job. Two years prior to this, I wanted to get a job (for reasons that are a whole different story - I have a lot of stories don't I?) and my father wouldn't allow it. I could ride horses and if people wanted to pay me for it - which they did - then fine. He allowed that because it looked like "fun". Any other kind of job was forbidden. The family I was staying with on my visit to Temecula, was more than happy to keep me. I stayed. My dad found out I had a job (he had ways and he wasn't shy about using private investigators to follow me, my sisters, my mother - this is what gets me, he KNEW where my mother was why did he insist I tell him??? who knows ). So he found out I had a job, called me up and said I could stay the summer if I paid rent. He specified the amount: $250/month. That was A LOT of money compared to minimum wage back then but I happily paid it. The family declined to accept but I insisted because if they didn't, he would make me go home. I desperately did NOT want to go home!

That summer was quite possibly one of the best summers of my life. I worked hard every day. After work, E, JM2, her sister D and I played and played and played. There were a few other friends on the peripheral but mostly it was us four. My 17th birthday was one of the best. JM2, with E's assistance made me a homemade strawberry birthday pie. It was the grossest thing. Surprising because JM2 is one of the best cooks and bakers I know. This pie, it was gross. But it had candles. And we ate it. And I was happy.

Toward the end of the summer, E. and his step-brother D. had a party. Their parents were out of town. There was alcohol at this party.
I didn't drink.
I think there might have been other things at this party too but I was so innocent and unaware ... I do remember sitting out on the back porch with E.'s step-brother and a few of his buddies. We had a really deep, intense conversation about something I can't remember right now. I just remember being impressed with myself that I was actually talking to E.'s brother. He was one of those not exactly popular kids in the all American jock sort of way. He hung out with the darker, "cool" crowd. The band nerd straight A student likes of me steered way clear of his type/ To find out he was such a neat, REAL person was really liberating. So, we had this deep conversation and I'll now ruin your impression of it because while we were having the conversation, D. and his buddies were nibbling on milkbones.
Don't worry, I didn't try one although they offered.
I wasn't one to cave to peer pressure - hence, my being at a party and NOT drinking when everyone else was. Quite simply, I knew I wasn't old enough. And the only reason I was even there was because I so badly wanted to be around E.
Pathetic, no?

The party wound down. Somehow - not exactly by my doing because it certainly went against my good girl policy - I stayed the night.
In E.'s room.
On the floor.
E. was on the bed (he was such a gentleman back then, ha ha ha ha).
I woke up in the middle of the night with a boxer-only clad E. on top of me!!
He was kissing me - swoon.
He was trying to do other things to me too but I was too inexperienced to know! All my clothes remained firmly in place. He eventually fell asleep on top of me and I stayed awake the rest of the entire night hardly breathing and wondering what exactly this all meant!!!

The next morning was AWKWARD. We woke up. Him with an impressive hangover I think. Me with an enormous amount of guilt. I was a good girl. I didn't just stay over at boys' houses!
He walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye.
I drove away feeling .... feeling ... not sure. Not exactly happy because the next morning was so awkward. Not exactly sad, because well, I KISSED HIM!!!! Finally!
It was just a strange strange place to be.
He and I avoided each other for a few days afterward.
Then, everything was back to normal as if nothing ever happened.
This became our pattern for years to come.

Then there was this time at band camp ...

Fall 1987

The story of E and me started at the beginning of the 1987 school year. I was a band nerd and several weeks before school started, we attended band camp. .... nothing American Pie-ish happened -- I graduated from High School virginity safely intact! I was a sophomore that year - for those of you trying to do the math, I turn 33 next week, okay?

Anyway, our band was small so in those weeks preceding the start of school, we got to know each other very well. Very well being the high school standard where someone becomes your bestest friend for life in a matter of days ... we formed our little cliques.

Band camp spilled over into a 45 minute before school daily practice session. Band was first period. So ........ the first day of school in Fall 1987, we were already hard at work on our field show long before classes began. Shortly after the first bell rang, two new students were escorted out to our practice field. One held a trumpet and the other had --- um, I can't remember. He didn't even register on the radar.
I only saw E.
My own personal version of Remington Steele.
I was in love.
Love at first sight.
To this day, I can picture him: skinny as a rail with jet black hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans. He was standing crossed-legged next to the band director and --- the other guy. The band director was questioning them on abilities to best determine how to work them into our field show (I think). I don't remember formal introductions being made but I do remember swooning the rest of class ... from afar. I was way too shy and underconfident to ever think I could actually **speak** to him (oh, just the thought of it made my heart flutter!). At the time, I thought I was just a fat, no-boy-would-ever-be-interested-in-me, straight A band nerd. Thinking back, I probably wasn't too bad. I had spent the summer before slinging (horse)shit, riding and swimming daily. I was a big girl (still am) but I was tan and I was fit (it was the 80's, being tan was allowed).

So, I went to second period without as much as a single word to him and a little cloud of hearts and stars swirling around my head. Imagine my surprise (and great delight) when E. appeared in my Chemistry class later that day!!

Fast forward a few weeks (which in high school is the adult equivalent of a few months). E. was firmly ensconced in our little band clique. I was still swooning but had mustered enough courage to actually speak with him. He was quite the flirt ... with other girls. Oh, I was so jealous that he never flirted with me!!! Our group hung out often. We went to movies. Mini-amusement parks. Rented movies to watch at someone's home. We passed notes. I always felt so special when he wrote ME a note and signed it with his Joe Cool cartoon character. All my friends knew I was head over heels in puppy love. No other boy or person existed for me. One particular friend ... also knew and went out of her way to flirt with E, and call E and pass notes with E (she incidentally attempted to steal my one and only high school boyfriend the following year - unsuccessfully thankyoubill.). I was jealous. But it didn't occur to me to be offended - these days I wonder why I kept her as my friend back then! We aren't now but that's a different story.

Back to E.

He and I became friends. Mostly, we were friends within the group as a whole during the school year. Then summer rolled around. I lived alone that summer. My dad was traveling during the week and home on the weekends. E and I spent A LOT of time together that summer. Just hanging out. Doing ????? I do remember one particular incident where he wanted to see a picture in the photo album JM2 made for my 16th birthday. I didn't want him to see. We had a wrestling fight over the album all over my house for a couple of hours. He finally won and saw the photo. (now I wonder, what was the big deal??? man, I was some sort of insecure little kid back then!). We also noticed a huge blue streak left on my bedroom door by the edge of the photo album. I FREAKED. One, because how in the heck was I going to explain it to my Dad if he noticed??? and Two, we had just repainted the entire house - including doors - because the house was on the market. I was moving away. E was really great about it. We found the leftover paint in the garage and a brush and he fixed it up just in time for my dad to arrive home. E didn't understand why I was so freaked --clearly he hadn't seen much of my father--but we got it covered. I don't think my Dad ever noticed or at least he didn't say anything.
Whew!

Fall 1988
The house was still on the market and the move to central California was impending. I started the school year. I was not able to take band that year (boo hoo) because it conflicted with my Physics and AP classes. However, it left me half a credit short on Arts. I landed in an Art class (the hardest class I ever had in High School, I worked my fanny off and had to do extra credit just to get an A- ((the worst grade I had in High School)) ). My Art partner was named Bill. We became friends and then we became boyfriend and girlfriend. My first kiss? Was on the bench seat in the back of the above-mentioned attempted boyfriend stealer's truck. I didn't know Bill was going in for the kiss and I turned and he missed and his braces got stuck in my sweater and we fell off the seat onto the floor - pretty hilarious.

Well.

E didn't like Bill AT ALL. And was very vocal about it. Suddenly, he was calling more often. He was flirting with me. It was very confusing. I spent the school year prior and the whole summer head over heels for this guy and the closest we got was the wrestle fight over the photo album. I finally have a boyfriend and all of the sudden he's interested????????????? Ugh!

Then, I moved.

My friends stayed in touch. We wrote letters. We occasionally talked on the phone. Many told me that E had left the band clique and was hanging out with undesirables. There were suspicions that he was drinking and smoking pot. I was mortified! I worried. I pined for him. I called the radio station in the middle of the night to make girlish dedications...

Oh, are you wondering what happened to Bill? He and I stayed friends. We never had "the talk"- I guess it was just assumed we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore since I moved away but he did write me letters too. Funny thing with him how we were really better friends than anything. We went on again and off again when I moved back - oh, got ahead of myself. Back to my being away and worrying about E falling in with the wrong crowd (yes, that's how I thought of it back then in my oh-so-innocent straight-laced days!). E and I had exactly ONE phone conversation. After which, I cried. He claimed all was just fine. Everyone else was telling me his grades dropped, he was partying, etc.

I left school on the central coast three weeks before school actually let out. Long story but basically, the second half of my junior year was an academic waste - the school I attended did not hold a candle to the school I'd left. My dad was leaving on a prolonged business trip and since we didn't have family or close friends in the area (I failed to make any while in school there - they hated me because not only was I a junior in senior classes, I blew their grade curves (thankyou Mrs. D). My dad arranged with the school for me to finish early and I went back to Temecula for a few weeks to attend E's (and other friends) graduation. My dad and I had a major disagreement (he was such a prick back then about my Mom, her whereabouts and any interaction with her side of the family). I ended up staying down for the summer and then after a huge catastrophe, my senior year. To this day, I don't think my dad has forgiven me for never coming home.

We'll leave this story at E's graduation. Next posting will continue with my 17th birthday and subsequent events.

Stay tuned (if you care).